Life is about creating yourself...right?

Music: Birdy - People Help The People

Picture by: Daniel Lester

“Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” I think lots of us have actually heard this quote by George Bernard Shaw. And of course, most of us have agreed with that and even said that now this will be their life motto. Now it’s cool to live by some clever thought that inspire to be yourself, to be different, not to listen to the others but to act and think as “your heart, mind and so on” tells you. Everyone nods with a single heart and claps to the ones with such philosophic ideas. I can’t disagree with this style of life. I am sure with should be mind-independent and really to be yourselves. BUT really don’t see this in the whole society that tries to bring all the said above in life. Unfortunately, the way they are “creating themselves” sometimes really scares me…

I had a pretty bad experience with a big group of teenagers some months ago that still makes me angry and disappointed of the times we are living in. I was (well, still am) an administrator in the biggest fan club in Russia of the ***** ******** band. Me and the other administrators were trying somehow to entertain them so almost every evening there were games, quizzes and so on. Once I thought that actually we could’ve tried having once a week a books\movies discussions so we don’t only talk about someone’s new girlfriend or hairstyle. Of course, I knew that not everyone will enjoy this idea but the answers I got from most of them almost made me “cry” for how pathetic our teenagers are. Everyone started freaking out about this telling me that they’re not in school and they don’t want to do the same things here, there we loud NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOs, questions like “Why should we discuss it if we’re here for the group not for education?”, and rude statements like “ pffff, we don’t need any books! We need only the naked *** ***** who is going to marry me!”….Yeah….To say that I was disappointed is like if I didn’t say anything at all.

At that very moment I understood how lost fanatics are we. We live such illogical life. We adore watching TV series like “Sherlock BBC”, “White Collar”, “Suits” or “Lie to me” because we love how smart the main characters are. We say : “Oh, to be clever this days is sooo cool and sexy( although I still don’t understand the logic about being sexy…Attractive – yeah, sexy –nah…)”! We say: “That’s so cool! I wanna be like Holms, I wanna know all this deduction methods! I’ll definitely learn!” but in the end all this are just meaningless words. You know why? Because actually we prefer to look cool by looking stupid. Actually, we even compete in this.

A lot of times, I think more than million, I’ve seen this situation: a group of people are sitting and discussing who is worse. One is saying: “Oh my, I just got an F on Biology!”, the others say: “Pfff, I always get Fs on Biology”, after that someone will try to look even more cool by saying “Well, you know, I don’t know Maths or Physics at all! I don’t understand them! :D :D :D (yeah, they actually think it’s funny)” and all the others will agree by telling “Yeah, I have no idea how to do that! I don’t know it and I can never right the test properly!”…Yeah…You’re sooooo cool I can’t even describe it. I agree sometimes I tell my friends that I don’t know something too…But it’s just a panic before an exam or something like that. But these people actually are making fools of themselves in front of people they actually try to impress. HOW?! Well, I can understand – it’s easier to be cool but stupid than being cool and clever.

Ok,I don’t know, maybe it’s a new mainstream, like buying “Fifty Shades of Grey” and Co. Because, let’s be honest: I don’t know if there’s anything deep in this book, maybe there is, I haven’t read it…But everyone is buying this book because either it’s popular or because of the (18+) rating…And that’s actually a bit scary too. So instead of reading something meaningful we prefer to read about (I can’t believe I’m writing it here) horny man and woman…Really? I mean….REALLY?! Is this the best we can do?! Are these the people we are trusting our lives? How such narrow-minded people are actually going to develop our world?

Maybe I’m too severe but I am afraid of the society the media is creating…We are creating. Because by trying to show people how stupid you are, how uninterested in all the treasures that were left by the ages, you actually become the person you’re showing…You are not finding yourself. You are creating yourself… 

#TrueStory

Quote of  the...ERA, I think:

“I could easily forgive his pride, if he had not mortified mine.”

Music: Thomas J. Bergersen - Promise

Few days ago I started reading “ Pride and Prejudice” by Jane Austin. Honestly, at first I was prejudiced. I’ve heard that novels written by women in 18-19 centuries can be really sentimental, “too sweet” and even sometimes boring. But I guess such reviews were given by people who don’t appreciate or understand classical literature (of course everyone has his own opinion but I still don’t think classics can receive such negative reviews…That’s why they are called classics – they are literature monuments and you can not take their genius away, comprise thoughts that will be actual through the times, they are unique and deserve to be read by all despite their likes\dislikes)…or men. So as I said at first I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to read it. But suddenly few weeks ago I was filled with love- love of the Empire era – end of 18th and the beginning of 19th centuries. I was in serious need of romance. So I thought “What can be better than a novel about love written by a woman? I mean…Who knows the best what I want to see in a love story than a representative of the same gender?” So I decided to risk and read Jane Austin’s “Pride and Prejudice”….And I know what? That was one of the best moments that I have shared with a book. It was a long time a had so many emotions that just jumped out of me while reading. The last time something like that happened when I was reading “Crime and Punishment” by F. Dostoevsky. I was literally crying my eyes out in the night. Now I had a pretty similar situation actually. In the beginning of the book I was pretty calm. I was even extremely surprised why all the females in the world were in love with Mr Darcy…Like really? He was so cold, his pride covered him from head to toe and didn’t give him any chance of finding a close person within the small town. I could understand Elizabeth’s feeling about him. She was proud person too, you could’ve clearly see it. But somehow her pride didn’t cause such an attitude.

Elizabeth was clearly clever, really sincere and direct, kind, caring and loving. The pride actually helped her – she never allowed anyone to hurt her, make her feel miserable and unworthy, or screw up her happiness. She had her point of view, her way of life and she didn’t care if anyone had another opinion. But in the same time she wasn’t blind! Her dignity couldn’t let her lie to herself. She could always accept the truth even if it hurts or made her look really guilty. And she was always ready to accept the punishment because she knew she could only blame herself and never tried to avoid the still small voice inside her head. I think Elizabeth Bennet is one of the heroines I almost fully like and approve. The only thing that disappointed me was her attitude to some of her sisters. The fact she was so pissed with her stupid little sisters wasn’t nice. Of course they we doing it wrong but yiu can’t stop loving them because of this, right? But maybe her love was just so nice hidden inside that I didn’t clearly see it. And I understand that we are living in different ages and the consequences of her sister’s escape would be absolutely different too.

“You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you. -Mr. Darcy”. ― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice.

Now try to imagine my reaction on Mr Darcy’s love confession. I was pretty sure from the beginning till the end he will stay the same super-proud, cold, arrogant and vain. So when at 4 a.m. he started his confession I was like:

Then:

I couldn’t help myself but:

And everything finished like this (I'm ashamed):

I couldn’t understand why I was laughing so hard. I knew he had feelings for her but I couldn’t imagine he would talk about it so passionately! After 5 min nervously laughing trying to understand what just happened I actually started understanding other thing: now it was becoming a bit clearer why Mr Darcy is such an attractive personality. Half of the book I though you know what… And now I found out the inside him there is a fire of emotions trying to get, a ticking bomb of feeling that can explode (and explodes) every minute! I was shocked. So from now on my behavior would never be the same. I have the feeling that I’m not reading a book but I’m part of it myself. Every time Mr Darcy unexpectedly appeared, I was closing the book, smiling and blushing like If I was caught writing him poems and love letters.
I want to stress some facts. First of all, “Pride and Prejudice” is not a sentimental novel. Of course you can read about a lot of different emotions, feelings, you can say that the sister love between Jane and Elizabeth is sentimental. But hey, how can you say that the mane love story line between Darcy and Bennet is sentimental? I mean, this two people are so strong and so far from sentimentality. Of course sometimes we can clearly see how they can’t control their emotions but in such moments it is expected I think. So no, there are no sweet dialogs, no long night crying, writing love letters (Mr Darcy’s letter is not a LOVE letter) or diaries. Maybe the only sentimental thing there is the nature-so beautiful and full of life! Every time I was reading about Pemberley my imagination was working as a big “dream manufacture”!

Second of all, I like the fact that we don’t read only about one story line. For example, I was as interested in Jane and Bingley’s story (I really liked Bingley, he would be a good mate of mine if he was real…) as in Lizzie’s. I liked the fact that miss Austin told us about Charlotte’s fate, about Lydia’s marriage, Wickham’s history and so on. It makes you feel this story isn’t just something born by author’s imagination but something real. So many small details that look like they’re not important for the main story but they are so interesting and adorable that you can not be mad for distracting from Lizzie’s fate.

Third of all “Pride and Prejudice” is a great history monument – example of the society then, of its rules and laws. You can clearly see who money and class are still the most important in life and marriage. How many troubles people have trying to spit upon all this laws in the name of real love. How many arranged marriages are there and how many real can exist. How the reputation of close and distant relatives can close the doors in front of you.

After I told about everything else, I want to tell you about the one that didn’t let me sleep when I finished the book at 4 a.m. Mr Fitzwilliam (his name is the only thing that I don’t like in him) Darcy. YES! Now I clearly understand WHY the female population of the world adores him! Well, sure you can say he is rich, blue blood (nobleman), handsome…But this is not the most important. In fact, Mr Darcy is one of the few characters I can’t imagine their looks. I just don’t see him. I don’t know about his hair, eyes, nose or lips, how tall he is, how strong he is…I only know he is beautiful, that is all. But it is enough for me. Because instead of all this I have his personality look. I won’t write long comment full of admiration and fan-girling. I will try to be absolutely serious and objective.

Yesterday I read a post about Mr Darcy and in the end it was written: “In short, we don’t love Mr. Darcy because he’s perfect. We love him because he’s not perfect, herecognizes that he’s not perfect, and actually works on his imperfections in the name of self-improvement.” I am absolutely agree with it. Mr Darcy is loved for:

1) Caring. His care about his little sister is so touching. He really tries to make the best for her.

2) His brain. He is obviously really clever and he actually thinks…

3) His self-confidence. He is confident, he knows what he wants and he doesn’t care if people agree with him. He has his own opinion.

4) His ability to listen. Remember his love confession and after that Elizabeth’s confession? Well not everyone can stand such a severe speech connected with him. But he stood there listening very carefully trying to understand where he went wrong so he never does the same mistake again.

5) His interlocutor talent. He always listens, talks about thing other people are interested in, he know exactly how to approach to each one of the people around him. He is attentive and kind!

6) Being a good friend. Yes, he made mistake, but he fixed it after that.

7) His love. He loves and respects Lizzie so much that although there were so many troubles he didn’t give up or stop loving her. That is huge!

8) Loving Elizabeth for her personal qualities not beauty.

9) Being fair.

10) Helping even those that don’t deserve it whether it was because of miss Bennet or his trying to fix his mistakes.

11) Spiting upon the society opinion and rules and getting married to the one he loved.

12) Because he saw he’s imperfect, his bad traits and worked hard to prove he can be a better, respectable person. He changed for her, for himself not because he was weak but because it was right.

13) AND OF COURSE BECAUSE HE HAS 10,000 annual income and a great estate! I think this is the most important! (joke)


“I could easily forgive his pride, if he had not mortified mine.” -said Lizzie after the ball. And she actually forgot him because he proved himself…And she proved herself one more time.